Burlesque performer. Instructor. Show producer. Model. Two-second genius.

About last night/Brief encounter with Ron Jeremy

By Mynx d'Meanor • Oct 2nd, 2009 • Category: SHITS N' GIGGLES

The Hustler Club part of my evening lasted only about 30-40 minutes total. But since many of you are probably curious about what went down, here’s my recap:

I only went to the Hustler Club for the novelty. Free VIP entry, open bar, Ron Jeremy, and to finally meet @dottiebobottie.

Once past the idjits desperately arguing that they were supposed to be on the list (whatever), the scene inside was packed but tame. One might even say courteous.

The Hedgehog was standing in a corner, near the entrance, getting his photo taken with attendees. It was pretty low-key, actually– I walked past the photo area twice before noticing anything was going on.

The “Celebrity Stage” in the center was small, with a single 7-8 foot pole. A string of pretty but indiscernible dancers took turns twirling around and climbing the pole, making their butt cheeks jiggle, and taking off their bikini tops in 7-minute sets. My main thought: Damn, it’s so much cheaper to costume a strip-joint stripper– just get matching bra and tanga panty sets, and you’re pretty much done*.

I walked around a bit, but mostly posted in one corner watching people, wondering if I’d recognize Dottie among them. Made it to the bar just in time to get a free soda pop. Noticed most folks didn’t bother to tip. People: Open bar means the drinks are free, but service should still be appreciated.

Walked back to the photo area just as they were finishing– the line had dissolved, and the dude with the mic began motioning for the crew to start walking. (The crew consisted of him, RJ, a videographer and photog.)

I asked the cute photog chick if there was time to take one more pic, and Ron walked up me, kissed me on the left cheek and told me I looked adorable. I gave him a pat-on-the-shoulder hug, and we took a photo. He complimented me again on my outfit and was on his way. Observation: Ron Jeremy was not sweaty at all. Sad to say, perhaps, but I totally expected him to be oozing grease– in general, but especially in a crowded strip club. Anyway, I chatted with the photog a bit more (her name’s Ah-lee-see-uh, and she’s a cutie pie) until she was called to resume her duty. Someone remind me to look up photos online later– it was a surprisingly cute pic.

… That was it, basically. Was getting ready to head out when I ran into Dottie, whom I’ve been dying to meet since Abby told me she’d moved to SF and we should know each other. I tapped her on the shoulder and introduced myself. Her response: “Abby’s right! You are adorable!” (Wheee!) We chatted for a bit, and I stood with her long enough to watch Ron Jeremy talk on stage and introduce the next three dancers (main act?) work the pole. Another note: While I admire the physicality of flipping around on those things, I was generally unimpressed by the show. I’ve seen much better acts by Gravity Plays Favorites, The Wau Wau Sisters, and several more aerialist and burlesque friends. Not surprised there. But I stayed ‘til that set ended (it’s the polite thing to do) before saying my goodbye and rushing out to catch Bombshell Betty’s Burlesque Bailout show. And then the real entertainment began.

P.S. Kingfish totally has Ron Jeremy’s cooties now, because he kissed me on the same cheek, in effect kissing The ‘Hog by proxy. But hey, these are legendary cooties we’re talking about.

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