Happy New Year!

It’s my birthday month, and I’m having a hell of a lot of fun! (So much so, I’ve not much time to do a proper writeup of the holidaze and such. Will do soonly.)

Upcoming shows:

Saturday, January 15
SF SKETCHFEST: Delocated Witness Protection Program Variety Show
Cobb’s Comedy Club, SF
Show 10:30PM / $30 / 21+
“Jon,” from Adult Swim’s Delocated, hosts a night of both anonymous and non-anonymous music and entertainment. Featuring Todd Barry, Andrew Daly, Will Forte, Kristen Schaal, Eugene Mirman, Larry Murphy, burlesque dancer Mynx d’Meanor, and special musical guest, A.C. Newman of The New Pornographers.
SF Sketchfest Schedule

Sunday, January 23
BARBARY COAST BURLESQUE
Impala, SF
Doors 8PM / $15 / 21+
Barbary Coast Burlesque ADVANCE TIX

Monday, January 31
UPTOWN HUBBA HUBBA REVUE
Uptown Club, Oakland
Doors 9PM / $5 / 21+

Friday, February 11
KEYHOLE CABARET Comes to SF!
Cafe Cocomo, SF
Details TBA

Saturday, February 12
BARBARY COAST BURLESQUE
Impala, SF
Details TBA

Friday, February 25
HUBBA HUBBA REVUE: Around the World in 80 Girls!
DNA Lounge, SF
Doors 9PM / $15 / 21+

… and (hopefully) many more to come!

Lots of changes lately, so I’ve laid low the past couple of months.

Well, I’m back in action, and with a NEW, very exciting (exciting-ing-ing-ing) act! Make sure you go to the Hubba Hubba Revue Secret Agents show to witness the debut!

Here’s what’s coming up:

Thursday, November 11
LITTLE MINSKY’S
Club Deluxe, SF
Doors 9PM / $5 / 21+
Little Minsky’s Facebook Page

Friday, November 19
HUBBA HUBBA REVUE: SECRET AGENTS
DNA Lounge, SF
Doors 9PM / $15 / 21+
Hubba Hubba Revue

Wednesday, November 24
BONDAGE A-GO-GO 18TH ANNIVERSARY SHOW
Glas Kat, SF
Doors 9PM

Can you believe how tiny my belly button was?

Me-oh-my!

Have been so incredibly busy the past couple of months, I didn’t even get a chance to post about all the July shenanigans!

And here we are, nearly halfway into August already. Crazy!

Here’s what’s coming up:

First, I’ll be in San Diego for almost 2 weeks!

Saturday, August 14
KEYHOLE CABARET: PARISIAN NIGHTS
Stout Pub, San Diego
www.keyholecabaret.com

Sunday, August 15
SWINGIN’ SUNDAYS WITH LADY LUCK REVUE: Pin ups, Pillow Fights N’ Hot Summer Nights
Winston’s, San Diego (Ocean Beach)
6PM / 21+

Friday, August 20
TIKI OASIS 10 EXTRAVAGANZA!
Hanalei Hotel (Crowne Plaza), San Diego
www.tikioasis.org

Then back in the Bay!

Friday, August 27
HUBBA HUBBA REVUE SPECIAL EDITION: End of Summer Beach Party
Uptown Club, Oakland
9PM / $10 / 21+

Video of my “Island Blues” act from May’s Hubba Hubba Revue: Caveman Show.

Special thanks to Flame Cynders for capturing the video.

Super special thanks to my human prop/dance partner Jet Noir for putting up with my “ideas”.

Enjoy!

Woohoo!

Just got back from crazy/inspiring Burlesque Hall of Fame weekend in Vegas and boy, I can’t afford to be tired. Lots of action this month! Hope you’ll come out and join me!

Thursday, June 10
LITTLE MINSKY’S
Club Deluxe, SF
10PM / $5 / 21+

Sunday, June 13
FISHNET FOLLIES SCHOOL OF CLASSIC BURLESQUE
Bay Functional Fitness, Rockridge/Oakland
1:30-3PM / $20 / Women only, 18+

Tuesday, June 15
Fishnet Follies Guest Host DR. SKETCHY’S
111 Minna Gallery, SF
7-10PM / $10 Sketchers, $7 Students, Free to barflies

Friday, June 18
HUBBA HUBBA REVUE: HELL!
DNA Lounge, SF
9PM / $15 / 21+

Saturday, June 19
KEYHOLE CABARET (San Diego)
Stout Pub, San Diego
8PM / $20 / 21+

Sunday, June 20
STRIPTEASE SALON with MYNX D’MEANOR
Venue TBA, San Diego
Time TBA / $20 / Women only, 21+

Friday, June 25
sASSy’s SEASIDE BURLESQUE
Winter’s Tavern, Pacifica
9PM / Free / 21+

Sunday, June 27
FISHNET FOLLIES SCHOOL OF CLASSIC BURLESQUE
Bay Functional Fitness, Rockridge/Oakland
1:30-3PM / $20 / Women only, 18+

Saturday, July 3
HUBBA HUBBA REVUE: STAR-SPANGLED SATURDAY
Uptown Club, Oakland
9PM / $10 / 21+

Whew! See ya from the stage! And buy me some drynx after!

Here’s another photo from my “Island Blues” act. Shot by Johnny Crash.

After mostly laying low last month, I’m allll over the place this March…

First and best news (though last on the calendar) is the fact that we’re finally debuting FISHNET FOLLIES in the SF Bay Area!

MONDAY, MARCH 22
FISHNET FOLLIES Takes Over Uptown Hubba!

For this special night, we are extremely excited to present our special guests, all the way from Japan!

International burlesque starlet: VIOLET EVA of Murasaki Baby Doll
Jazz/cabaret sensation: MAKI RINKA

Plus:
Vienna La Rouge
Pin Key Lee
Mynx d’ Meanor
The Indra
Flame Cynders

MONDAY, MARCH 22
The Uptown Club
1928 Telegraph Avenue
Oakland, CA
Doors 9PM / $5 / 21+

http://www.fishnetfollies.com

But before THE BIG SHOW, you’ll see me in just about everyone else’s to promote Fishnet Follies and see as many of you as possible!

WEDNESDAY, MARCH 10
Barbary Coast Burlesque at SFSU!
The Depot/Cesar Chavez Student Center, SF
Show at 5PM / Free to students

THURSDAY, MARCH 11
Little Minsky’s
Club Deluxe, SF
Show at 10PM / $5 / 21+

FRIDAY, MARCH 12
Von Gutenberg Fetish & Burlesque Night
DNA Lounge, SF
Doors at 9PM / $35 / 21+
http://www.vongutenbergfetishball.com/

FRIDAY, MARCH 19
Hubba Hubba Revue: AWARDS SHOW!
DNA Lounge, SF
Doors at 9PM / $15 / 21+
http://www.hubbahubbarevue.com/

MONDAY, MARCH 22
FISHNET FOLLIES Takes Over Uptown Hubba!
The Uptown Club
Oakland, CA
Doors 9PM / $5 / 21+

See you from the stage!

Super huge hugs and thanks to Princess Farhana and her mom, Betsy Holland Gehman, for allowing me to reprint this story. It’s another witty chapter of Mama Gehman’s memoirs– a peek into the unglamorous side of showgirl life, 1949 New York. Enjoy.

WELCOME TO NEW YORK

You Won’t Be a Stranger For Long

By Betsy Holland Gehman

1.  In the beginning

On my second day in New York in late August of 1949 I took my first solo flight on the Subway.   My roommate Jill Kraft, born in New York, put me on the IRT train and left the rest to fate.  She’d already instructed me to get off at the Times Square station and walk north to 43rd Street where I would have my first Broadway interview with Louis Schurr, the famous agent.

If he decided I showed any possibilities, Jill assured me, he’d send me on to meet some producer or casting director…or maybe I’d be sent straight over to audition for one of the many Broadway shows now holding auditions for the upcoming season.  She also thought it important for me to know he was once upon a long time ago the agent of record for huge stars like Ethel Merman, Bert Lahr and Bob Hope — which only made me more nervous about my own qualifications for stardom.  Jill explained all that to me as she rushed to get ready for her acting class with Stella Adler.

My trip from West 72^nd Street down to 42^nd took mere minutes.  I climbed up a couple of flights of stairs and found myself on a traffic island in front of the famous New York Times Tower where the ball was dropped every New Year’s Eve.  Traffic, heading in two directions, roared by while crowds of people waited for the lights to change so they could race across either Seventh Avenue on one side of this traffic island or Broadway on the other side.

With rain threatening and thick clouds overhead, I had no idea which way was east, west, north or south; nor which direction was uptown or downtown.

Then I spotted a policemen – a tall, good-looking young policeman.

“Pardon me, officer,” I said in my rarely-used perky ingenue voice.  “Do you know where 43rd Street is?”

He responded with one of those legendary Irish smiles and looking down at me said with complete confidence, “Yes, I do.”

In the long silence that followed I waited for the man in blue to continue.   My own suddenly less certain smile began to crumple; his smile was as fresh as the moment it was born.   Maybe fresher.

Finally, as the light bulb slowly lit up over my head, I took a deep breath and said, “You’re going to make me ask that second question, aren’t you?”

Looking down at me and still smiling he said, “Yes, I am.”

I took a deep breath, and as slowly and as liltingly Irish I could make it, all but sang the question.  “Sure and in which direction might I find this so-called 43rd Street — if indeed ye’d be so kindly!”

New York’s finest took me by the shoulders, turned me 90 degrees to the left, and pointed me in the right direction.   I just stood there nodding my head, my back still to him.  Behind me, I heard a great guffaw.  This brief encounter had just made his day!

“Welcome to New York!” he said happily.

2.     Later the same day

The agent’s office was less than a block away at 1501 Broadway –  otherwise known as The Paramount Building.   The Paramount Theatre dominated the entire front of the building with a five-story marquee in the French rococo style indicating that all who entered got to see a movie and a stage show.  Big stars like Frank Sinatra and Duke Ellington often played there – live – doing five shows a day.  Don’t ask me who was playing that day; I was far too excited to notice.  The entrance to the office portion of the building was inconspicuously tucked away just beyond the garish, glittering marquee.

Inside the surprisingly ordinary lobby, I found a uniformed, white-gloved attendant waiting in a brass-grilled elevator to Otis me up to the floor where the Schurr Agency was located.   Once through the portal that might lead to my future, I proudly announced to the receptionist, “I have an appointment with Louis Schurr.”

Appointed hours for meetings with agents, I would learn, are as elastic as appointments with members of say … royalty…or the medical professions. They all seem to know the trick of over-booking.  I found an empty chair and counted at least a dozen other Broadway hopefuls sitting and waiting — all avoiding eye contact.  I hoped we weren’t all waiting for the same guy.  I was left to ponder this for two hours, while even more supplicants crowded in to the already SRO waiting room.

When at long last I was ushered into the sanctum sanctorum, I found this tiny, ancient personage, with hair dyed a shockingly unlikely jet black, sitting in a huge fancy chair behind a desk the size of Rhode Island.   He was shouting into the phone and didn’t even look up as the secretary announced my name.  She gave me a little shove to start my engine and pointed to a straight-backed chair directly in front of the desk.  As she exited, she slammed the door as a signal to her boss that he had company.  He continued shouting into his phone.  I remained standing midway between him and the door, too timid to sit down without being invited.

Suddenly Little Louis was shouting in his telephone voice, “You’re a singer, right?”

Unsure whether he was talking to me or to the deaf person at the other end of the phone, I just nodded my head.

“So sing!” he ordered, still holding the phone.

“Where’s the piano?” I asked hesitantly.

“No piano!  No piano player!” he hollered.  “Sing!”

At this particular moment, I could not remember the lyrics to a single song in the entire universe.  And since I wasn’t blessed with perfect pitch, I could not possibly find the right key to start singing.   Then I heard Jill’s voice saying this could be my big chance.

So I started singing a capella at full volume, when suddenly the phone rang.   Again!  In total disbelief, I watched the little ferret pick it up while casually waving at me to continue singing while he chatted away relentlessly.

Bravely – no, make that angrily – I kept on singing, pushing the decibel level higher and “sparkling” (which Marge Champion had long ago told me was her foolproof way to keep the audience focusing on her).   It did not work on my audience of one; he just talked louder into the phone.

That’s when I decided to improvise gibberish lyrics, stringing together nonsense syllables that formed wordlike sounds with no meaning whatsoever.   When he simply upped the noise ante and continued to out-shout me, I changed my line of attack and substituted a litany of four-letter words in place of the gibberish.  I was hoping against hope that the shock of hearing “*%#@” “@#!?” and the like, sung in a strident girly voice, might be noticeable enough to catch his attention.  He never stopped barking into the phone.

I kept singing this newly invented x-rated version of my favorite audition song as I inched my way backwards to the door until I felt the doorknob bumping into my backside.  I made my escape just as I reached the last yodel of the refrain.   Banging open his office door, I raced through the jam-packed reception room and out the door leading to the real world.

Once back on street level and the relative sanity of Times Square, I started walking along the sidewalk, trying to avoid collisions with all the people rushing somewhere or other so imperatively.  As I shambled along, trying to quell the residual shaking caused by the recent peak humiliation of my life, I noticed a forty-ish man who was wearing dark glasses, carrying a red-tipped white cane in one hand and a tin cup sprouting two long yellow Ticonderoga pencils in the other, walking directly toward me very slowly, sweeping his cane as he moved.

Instantly I felt a ripple of shame for allowing myself to indulge in such unrestrained self-pity.  If this blind man had the moxie to get up every day and face the callous, hard-bitten denizens of The Great White Way — I could do it, too!  Nothing could stop me now, I thought.

Filled with gratitude, I began foraging for coins in my handbag to offer thanks to this brave man who had unknowingly helped set my priorities straight.  Pedestrians kept rushing by as he and I drew alongside one another. I dropped a quarter and a half-dollar into his tin cup; they hit bottom with a surprisingly sharp clank.

My new mentor’s head snapped up and he said with a broad smile, “Welcome to New York…enjoy your visit!”

I think the headline says it all.

I’m flying down tomorrow afternoon to hang out with my wonderful San Diego friends and gear up for a FABULOUS show and pinup spokesmodel contest for Temptress Fashion!

I’m performing and sitting on the judge’s panel for this one. Oh yeah!

Come one, come all!

“Face of Temptress” Spokesmodel Search and Swing Party with Lady Luck Band!

Come and join us and cast YOUR Vote for The Face of Temptress! The BEST TUESDAY NIGHT EVER will be at WinstonsOB so Bring your Dancin’ shoes!

Giveaways Galore including FREE SWAG from Temptress and VIVA LAS VEGAS TICKETS! You could be a LUCKY WINNER!
An action packed evening of Music, Burlesque, Pinups, Pageantry and Giveaways Galore!

Tuesday, FEB. 9, 2010 @ Winston’s Beach Club in Ocean Beach! for the Winner of “Face of Temptress” too!

All Star Panel of Judges:
Mike “Bossman” Hardin – HODAD’s – America’s Best Burger!
Seth – Seth’s Chop Shop and Tattoo Parlor!
Ophelia Kitty – The Caburlesque Kittens!
Mynx D’Meanor – The (Original) Fishnet Follies!
David Patrone – San Diego’s King of Swing and Crooner Extraordinaire!

“Face of Temptress” Spokesmodel Search and Dance Party
Tuesday, February 9, 2010 at 9:00pm
Winston’s Beach Club
1921 Bacon St
San Diego, CA
21+