Everybody wants something.

I’m a little late on this, but had to mention it:

From CNN Political Ticker: Porn Industry Seeks Federal Bailout

From CNN’s Rebecca Sinderbrand and Mark Preston

WASHINGTON (CNN) — Another major American industry is asking for assistance as the global financial crisis continues: Hustler publisher Larry Flynt and Girls Gone Wild CEO Joe Francis said Wednesday they will request that Congress allocate $5 billion for a bailout of the adult entertainment industry.

“The take here is that everyone and their mother want to be bailed out from the banks to the big three,” said Owen Moogan, spokesman for Larry Flynt. “The porn industry has been hurt by the downturn like everyone else and they are going to ask for the $5 billion. Is it the most serious thing in the world? Is it going to make the lives of Americans better if it happens? It is not for them to determine.”

Francis said in a statement that “the US government should actively support the adult industry’s survival and growth, just as it feels the need to support any other industry cherished by the American people.”

BusinessWeek adds:

Companies say people were already spending less on naughty DVDs before the economy went sour, increasingly turning to pirated copies and YouTube-like Web sites that stream clips for free and undercut companies working to sell adult content.

And now, with consumers tightening spending as much as they can, those who work in the industry say paid pornography is the first thing to go.

“Porn and Starbucks — we’re going down,” porn star Stormy Daniels said Sunday as she took a break from signing autographs and mingling with fans at the AVN Adult Entertainment Expo in Las Vegas.

…
Daniels, who began her career as a stripper, said that many women who act in pornographic films are spending more time making personal appearances at strip clubs to make extra cash.

She said that Internet piracy means more people know who she is than ever before and come to her personal appearances, but a bad economy means she’s not making more money as a result.

“They’re spending less money per person but there’s more people,” she said. “I’m fortunate in that I end up kind of breaking even.”

From LarryFlynt.com:

[A]ccording to Flynt the recession has acted like a national cold shower. “People are too depressed to be sexually active,” Flynt says, “This is very unhealthy as a nation. Americans can do without cars and such but they cannot do without sex.”

…
“With all this economic misery and people losing all that money, sex is the farthest thing from their mind,” Flynt says, “It’s time for congress to rejuvenate the sexual appetite of America. The only way they can do this is by supporting the adult industry and doing it quickly.”

I’m not sure to what extent this is going to be taken seriously and for how long. I can’t help but think of this as a burlesque (i.e., “upside-down”/farce) of the state of our economy. Certainly I think the story’s sensational enough to shed extra light on all this bailout mess. How far is too far?

A more pressing thought, however, is now I’ve got this Degrassi High classic playing over and over in my head: